The problem is not the problem. The problem is our reaction to the problem...
...and how able we are to talk about it.
There are people who live their entire lives traumatized by certain things and perpetually unable to talk about them. Some of these people are not even aware of what they are doing or why. They're just in this vicious circle perpetuating the problem and never really managing or even trying to solve it.
Some can't talk about it. Forcing these people to talk about it can be met with massive resistance. I remember someone telling me after going to the shrink: "I didn't like him. He made me cry". No thought had ever crossed her mind that maybe he was on to something and that's why she was crying and that maybe she should investigate the issue further (if not with him with someone else or in another manner). Her instinct was that she didn't like him so she stopped seeing him and that was that.
A massive flaw in today's society is that there are a lot of people out there that believe that crying or being emotional is wrong, and they perpetuate that belief in the education of their children. Talking about things is wrong, so they resist it. With them you can make as much small talk as you want or even debate political/society issue, but as soon as you reach the subject of them - especially with sensitive things, things turn to shit.
I tend to think the most beautiful thing that can happen to a person is having at least one person in their lives with which they can talk about absolutely anything. To have a person with whom to not be ashamed to talk about the silly stuff, but also about the things that eat us inside. The things that are slowly killing us. The questions that plague us. The moments in our lives that are haunting us. It could be a good friend, it could be a shrink, or - best case scenario - your life partner. But there should be at least one person there that doesn't make you feel that your thoughts should not be shared - whichever those thoughts are. Including thoughts that hurt them.
There are people who live their entire lives traumatized by certain things and perpetually unable to talk about them. Some of these people are not even aware of what they are doing or why. They're just in this vicious circle perpetuating the problem and never really managing or even trying to solve it.
Some can't talk about it. Forcing these people to talk about it can be met with massive resistance. I remember someone telling me after going to the shrink: "I didn't like him. He made me cry". No thought had ever crossed her mind that maybe he was on to something and that's why she was crying and that maybe she should investigate the issue further (if not with him with someone else or in another manner). Her instinct was that she didn't like him so she stopped seeing him and that was that.
A massive flaw in today's society is that there are a lot of people out there that believe that crying or being emotional is wrong, and they perpetuate that belief in the education of their children. Talking about things is wrong, so they resist it. With them you can make as much small talk as you want or even debate political/society issue, but as soon as you reach the subject of them - especially with sensitive things, things turn to shit.
I tend to think the most beautiful thing that can happen to a person is having at least one person in their lives with which they can talk about absolutely anything. To have a person with whom to not be ashamed to talk about the silly stuff, but also about the things that eat us inside. The things that are slowly killing us. The questions that plague us. The moments in our lives that are haunting us. It could be a good friend, it could be a shrink, or - best case scenario - your life partner. But there should be at least one person there that doesn't make you feel that your thoughts should not be shared - whichever those thoughts are. Including thoughts that hurt them.
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