The Disappointed Idealist

I find that to be one of the saddest aspects of the human condition. Everything we can't have suddenly becomes more desirable. People we can't have are suddenly attractive. People that come too easy and like you too much, become less attractive for that reason only, even if objectively speaking they have every quality you want in a person. People that don't give you the time of day and treat you like shit are desireable because somewhere in the back of our minds, that translates into a superior attitude that makes us believe that they are somehow better than us. And because we perceive them as 'quality', we want them. This leads to an endless cycle of pain. You want them because they don't want you and, by the same logic, the more you want them, the less attractive you are to them. You will not get them until you stop wanting them, and by that time that will not be a satisfaction  for you. I cannot offer a solution here. The heart wants what the he

This rarely happens nowadays, but it did now. I was watching this movie, called Don Jon and I got really mad. For those of you who haven't watched it, here's the short story: there's this dude, a pretty typical bachelor male, who watches a lot of porn. At some point he decides that he wants to try on something more and he starts trying at a relationship with a chick called Barbara. The chick is insanely hot and everyone agrees on that. But she annoys the shit out of me. And what annoys me most is that, although I am sure that the writers' intention was to make her as a bit of an overreaction, there are a lot of women that are exactly like that. Like what you ask? While Jon is actively trying to alter his lifestyle to fit her in (although he occasionally fails), Barbara only dictates. From the first second, she is not preoccupied with knowing him, but with turning him into the kind of man she wants. Now, from where I am standing, that's just useless. The smart

There's plenty of cases I know of, and I learn of more and more each day. Story 1:  Guy has long-term girlfriend. He loves her and doesn't intend to give her up. Yet, he meets a woman he finds attractive and cannot help himself from flirting with her. What can this lead to? In most of the cases, the guy will not tell his flirt that he has a girlfriend. She could actually start liking him, so when she finds out that he's not really meaning anything by it, she could get hurt. Even if he does tell his flirt he has a girlfriend, if the guy doesn't stop flirting, she could still get her hopes up. What if the girlfriend finds out? Even if she won't act like it, she'll most definitely be hurt and that will lead to less trust in the relationship and eventual problems. Is it really worth it? Story 2: Guy doesn't have girlfriend and does not intend to get one. He meets a woman he finds attractive. She obviously wants more, he's not interested

Have you noticed how you sometimes spend a lot of money on a holiday/ car/ party or something like that and at the end of the day you're just feeling like you didn't have even half as much fun as you expected?  Most of the times, the most fun times we remember are the times when we were students, we went on cheap trips, drank cheap beer and made little effort to plan how we were having fun. As adults, sometimes, we don't have the time to have fun when we'd like to. We plan in advance for months, pay lots of money and then at the end of the day when we get there, the fun is ruined by too much anticipation. The many songs and poems are right about this one: happiness is about the little things. It's about letting the child within you enjoy that great cup of coffee, the feeling of fresh air in the morning or the feeling of touching someone's hand. The happiest moments of our lives are free, spontaneous and unexpected. Although I do understand the

The Lady of the Rivers by Philippa Gregory My rating: 2 of 5 stars If you're keen on historical accuracy, this book will lead to a lot of teeth gritting. Ms Gregory is well-documented but biased and presents as facts a lot of things that are just rumours, at best. If you want to read this as a book, independent of the fact that it is inspired by real people, you will enjoy it. But if history and historical accuracy in books matters to you, you might want to skip this one. View all my reviews

The Romanians, 1774-1866 by Keith Hitchins My rating: 4 of 5 stars It's interesting to read a book about Romania written by an American. It's an outside perspective, different from what you see in the history manuals and it's different from the usual view. An American is usually unfamiliar with who is considered a hero in Romania, so everyone's actions are judged objectively, without that bias added to them. It's refreshing and sometimes disconcerting. It's a book that's well written and good to read. View all my reviews

Princesses: The Six Daughters of George III by Flora Fraser My rating: 4 of 5 stars Few people would think of doing a book on some characters so obscure as the six daughters of George III. It's bound to attract the attention of only history freaks (like me) so it's a risky move. But it is so well done and so well written that I cannot help but recommend it to anyone. You don't need history knowledge to understand this book, Ms Fraser does a great job at explaining the context and all that is needed. This is not a happy story, but it is a true story, it is a story we can all learn from. I would recommend it as a life story. View all my reviews

It's that time of the year when we make decisions like "starting next year, I'll smile more and listen more and practice my singing" or something like that. New Year's Eve comes and then it goes and then suddenly we're back in the normal life and we forget until New Year's Eve comes again. Do we really have the potential to suddenly change our lives and make monumental decisions about it? I am not saying that life cannot change. I am sure that whoever takes the time to look back ten years will realize that life did change. But it changed slowly, without you realizing it, with small decisions and small steps that added up and led you into a direction. There are things you do suddenly: people stop smoking, they break up... sometimes they are forced by events to change. People die and that changes your life. You meet someone that suddenly takes up a lot of your time. But most of the times, the inner you stays the same, it just reacts to different circ