Labels, misconceptions and expectations
This rarely happens nowadays, but it did now. I was watching this movie, called Don Jon and I got really mad.
For those of you who haven't watched it, here's the short story: there's this dude, a pretty typical bachelor male, who watches a lot of porn. At some point he decides that he wants to try on something more and he starts trying at a relationship with a chick called Barbara. The chick is insanely hot and everyone agrees on that. But she annoys the shit out of me. And what annoys me most is that, although I am sure that the writers' intention was to make her as a bit of an overreaction, there are a lot of women that are exactly like that.
Like what you ask? While Jon is actively trying to alter his lifestyle to fit her in (although he occasionally fails), Barbara only dictates. From the first second, she is not preoccupied with knowing him, but with turning him into the kind of man she wants.
Now, from where I am standing, that's just useless. The smart thing to do, from a girl perspective, is to find a guy that suits what she needs most, rather than find a random guy and turn him into what she wants. It's easier and more effective. So why do women keep doing this dance in which they keep trying to change men?
The really bad part is that many men are so used to this that they totally disregard the women that accept them as they are. Because "it's too easy" if you don't have to make an effort and change yourself for her. If she accepts you as you are, she's easy and therefore not worth the bother.
So we're all stuck into these relationships where we change ourselves and work our butts off just to keep them afloat, when really a relationship should be your home spot. It should be a place where you can come off after a hard day at work, after a day in society in which you try your best to be polite and keep everything in, a place in which you can finally be yourself.
Because if it's not you yourself in that relationship, then it's not your relationship. It's the relationship of the guy you're pretending to be.
For those of you who haven't watched it, here's the short story: there's this dude, a pretty typical bachelor male, who watches a lot of porn. At some point he decides that he wants to try on something more and he starts trying at a relationship with a chick called Barbara. The chick is insanely hot and everyone agrees on that. But she annoys the shit out of me. And what annoys me most is that, although I am sure that the writers' intention was to make her as a bit of an overreaction, there are a lot of women that are exactly like that.
Like what you ask? While Jon is actively trying to alter his lifestyle to fit her in (although he occasionally fails), Barbara only dictates. From the first second, she is not preoccupied with knowing him, but with turning him into the kind of man she wants.
Now, from where I am standing, that's just useless. The smart thing to do, from a girl perspective, is to find a guy that suits what she needs most, rather than find a random guy and turn him into what she wants. It's easier and more effective. So why do women keep doing this dance in which they keep trying to change men?
The really bad part is that many men are so used to this that they totally disregard the women that accept them as they are. Because "it's too easy" if you don't have to make an effort and change yourself for her. If she accepts you as you are, she's easy and therefore not worth the bother.
So we're all stuck into these relationships where we change ourselves and work our butts off just to keep them afloat, when really a relationship should be your home spot. It should be a place where you can come off after a hard day at work, after a day in society in which you try your best to be polite and keep everything in, a place in which you can finally be yourself.
Because if it's not you yourself in that relationship, then it's not your relationship. It's the relationship of the guy you're pretending to be.
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