The Disappointed Idealist

Here's a question you're going to ask yourself at least once in your life: is having a toxic family/relationship better or worse than none at all? I have felt loneliness and I know how much it hurts to be alone especially at a time like Christmas (since it's the season) to look around you and see relationships and families flourishing while your social calendar consists of reading a book/watching a movie or playing a computer game. And yes, while all the above activities are fun, they're not as much fun when they're just about the only option you have. The temptation is to jump into the arms of a person that has nothing to do with what you want, is nowhere near what you need and is as suitable for you as a naked swim in midwinter. We jump into that person's arms, because that person is the only one that showed an interest or some sort of an availability (very likely they are jumping into your arms for the same reason you are jumping into theirs). We are choo

Richard III and the Princes in the Tower by A.J. Pollard My rating: 4 of 5 stars As a person that is fascinated with history, particularly English history and very particularly the Wars of the Roses, I find this book almost perfect. The conclusion it draws is natural, logical and based on fact. But if you are one of those people (that I am meeting more and more frequently in online forums) that believe that everything bad ever written about Richard is Tudor propaganda, you will not like this book. It is not anti-Richard, but it explores the facts, and the facts are that not everything that Richard did can be seen in a positive light and if you are not willing to accept that, you should not read this. I like it when a history book shows the good and the bad, I like the logical approach and I find it well-written and easy enough to be read, even if you are not an expert in history. If that is what matters to you, you will like this book. View all my reviews

The Princes in the Tower by Alison Weir My rating: 3 of 5 stars The problem with Alison Weir is that she presents "the likeliest version of the truth" as fact, when what it is is "the likeliest version". As such, I don't think she spent sufficient time debating on the other options. Personally, based on my other readings, I agree that this is indeed the likeliest version of the truth, but my conclusion is not based on this book. In one of the chapters she mentions that the Duke of Buckingham's innocence would be debated in future chapters, but I don't feel it is debated at all. After Richard, Buckingham is the likeliest suspect, and I don't see anything in this book that convinces me, as Ms Weir says that there is no way that he could have been behind the Princes' disappearance and/or eventual murder (either on his own and for his own interest, or "guided" by others). Alison Weir transitions Buckingham from a man serving his own purp

It all starts with this link: 6 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Homosexuality Far be it from me to recommend a website like Cracked to influence your system of beliefs. But out of that entire article, I will quote one sentence that truly strikes a chord with me: It's situations like these that bring credibility to the concept of "pansexuality" -- being attracted to people, not genders. So why is it that we feel the need to categorize people based on who they prefer to be sleeping with? How would you like to be categorized for preferring blondes over brunettes (or the other way around)? How is that in any way relevant to the person you are, the way you are thinking, your brain? Is that what defines you as a person? Truly? Why is it that we make such a big fuss whenever an actor comes out as gay or bisexual? Why should that actor feel the need to do so at all? I could of course start a separate debate on why on Earth we would feel to know that about hi

The Children of Henry VIII by Alison Weir My rating: 3 of 5 stars Alison Weir always tends to add her own input to her books but nowhere is this more obvious than in this one. In a non-fiction book she has added dialogue which to me is already steering it towards the land of fiction. Be very weary of that dialogue - there is no source to confirm it word for word, even if the sentiment behind it may have one. Other than that, while I can understand the focus on the reigns of Edward and Mary, I think I would have preferred more of an ensemble book, from birth till death kind of thing. Edward being a minor, his reign is more about his regents than about him so it's very hard to get a glimpse of who he was behind all that, which is what I would expect if I were to read a book with his picture on the cover. I have mixed feelings about this book. It's a good book to read, well written and such (I am referring to Alison Weir's writing style), but if you are interested in the ac

Because someone pointed out to me that I haven't posted in a while and because almost every movie has a message beneath the surface - and this one is not even that deeply buried. Cleanskin is a movie about an agent sent to clean up on the hush hush, basically an assassination job meant to eliminate the people behind a bombing attack. And when I read it like that it was not something I felt too inclined to watch - but I did anyway because it was brought to my attention that there might be more to the movie than that synopsis. What this movie does, however, unlike most action movies in a similar situation, is present both sides. The suicide bomber's evolution from an agnostic studying law to, well, suicide bomber, is presented in more detail than you would expect. And the sad part is, it makes sense. I will not sit here and reveal to you the movie and how it manages to make sense of something most Western people do not understand. It's hard to understand - when all y

Tudor Queens of England by David Loades My rating: 1 of 5 stars From what I see, the book is targeted at people with a beginner-to-intermediate level of history. From time to time it skips over important events that didn't directly involve the book's characters (if I can call them such) but influenced their lives one way or the other by saying "it's well known how [a particular event] played out"... That's all good and well but then the author does some errors that jump out of the page in a book that should require at least minimal knowledge to read. Example number one appears in Elizabeth Woodville's chapter. The John Woodville that was executed by the Earl of Warwick was Elizabeth's brother, not her uncle (as the author calls him not once, but twice), the same brother that had married, in his 20s, a 65 year-old widow - fact that had actually been mentioned a few pages before that. It is relevant that it was that particular brother that was killed,

Blood & Beauty: The Borgias by Sarah Dunant My rating: 4 of 5 stars Incredibly accurate for a historical fiction book. The historical notes at the beginning and end of the book will clear up any question you might have on what did or didn't happen. As with anything that happened 500 years ago, there are things we know, there are things we assume are most likely to have happened and there are theories that are meant to fill in the blanks but will probably never be proved 100%. The author successfully juggled through all of these, making up a version of events that matches all the facts we know about the Borgias and the, let's say, most agreed on theories on what happened. The only reproach I have is that she stops with Lucrezia's marriage to Alfonso d'Este. Yes, that was the pinnacle of success for the family and it is one way to end it, but I think many people, including myself, would be interested in a sequel that will cover their downfall - including Lucrezia&#

The Woodvilles: The Wars of the Roses and England's Most Infamous Family by Susan Higginbotham My rating: 4 of 5 stars The Woodvilles are not such a famous family, so I am assuming that whoever wants to read a book about them has at least basic knowledge of England in the Wars of the Roses. For this reason, it is quite OK that it is obvious that some prior knowledge is very helpful in reading this book. The book in itself is brilliantly written - it could be read as a novel and yet manages to offer a lot of information. I like the fact that it takes an unbiased approach and manages to steer clear of the temptation to accept myths as fact. I highly recommend it to everyone who wants to know more about the Wars of the Roses. View all my reviews

The First Queen of England: The Myth of "Bloody Mary" by Linda Porter My rating: 4 of 5 stars A very sympathetic view of Mary Tudor, from her birth to her death. I did appreciate however that, while the author attempted to establish the reasoning behind her actions, she did not attempt to gloss over her less stellar moments. It is a great character study and a good start in understanding one of the least appreciated British monarchs. Some background knowledge will be useful, but the writing is accessible and flows freely. View all my reviews

White world problems: we are allowed to be whatever we want to be, we have millions of choices and what we really do is sit on our couches and wonder what we should do while our life flies away. Yes, I might be idealizing the past a little (OK, a little more - comes with being a history fan). But the truth is that in a world with a clear set of rules preventing you from reaching your inner purpose, you are more motivated to discover and fight for what you really want. Human lives thrive in adversity, (most of) the best people that have lived since the beginning of times are people that were born or placed in difficult times and places and had to learn how to manage. And so they went on to do great things. We live in a world that (I am talking about the Western civilization now) raises its children in comfort and keeps its people in a comfort that numbs the mind. We are no longer challenged by life - unless we proactively seek that challenge. The lack of challenge allows us to choos

Queen Anne: The Politics of Passion by Anne Somerset My rating: 3 of 5 stars Extremely detailed. The events are told accurately and unbiased, in a chronological order, without many personal comments. It is an advance history book - some prior knowledge of the general history of this era is required in order to follow everything. I like the fact that the author leaves room for everyone's interpretation, offering hers only in the final chapter. View all my reviews

The Dragon & the Rose by Roberta Gellis My rating: 3 of 5 stars Had it not been for the note at the end claiming that the book was accurate, I would have given it 4 stars. As far as writing is concerned, the story is great, progresses wonderfully and I literally could not put the book down until I finished it (8PM in the evening till 3 AM in the morning is what it took me). BUT this book is not accurate. Example of inaccuracies: the Gray that was executed by Richard III was not Elizabeth Woodville's brother, but her second son. Elizabeth of York was 19, not 22 when she married. Henry Stafford died in 1471, not 1482. Letters between him and Margaret show that their marriage was based on mutual affection (although I'll grant you that that could all be for show). If one of Margaret's marriages was a simple arrangement on both sides, that was Thomas Stanley, since she ended up taking a chastity vow while still married to him. Francis of Brittany's first wife died in

If you want to survive and not die of heartbreak, this is an idea that you have to get used to. People stick with each other because people serve a purpose. Once that purpose is done, people leave. Now what about the noble love and other feelings? That is also a purpose. Love is a feeling that makes us feel good. As long as we love you, we stick with you because you're a source of good feeling. If we stop loving you, we leave because you've served your purpose and now it's done. And whether you like it or not, you do the same to other people. Because we leave others just like others leave us. When we leave others, we think we're doing the best for ourselves and justify the hurt it causes by what's best for us. But when they leave us we hurt and we blame them for feeling selfish. We choose to forget that we're equally so with others we don't care as much about. People always leave. You leave too. Just accept that part of the price you pay for do

Disclaimer: The issue of personal faith is a highly sensitive one and I've been known to occasionally step on a few of these sensitivities with my opinions. So if you are highly sensitive about your personal beliefs and do not like them challenged, this may not be a post you should read. I am a highly rational person and this does not bode well for faith, because faith by definition implies believing in something that has not been proven. But I have noticed certain things that cannot be rationally explained and I have reached (rather rationally) the conclusion that something exists out there. You may call it God, you may call it Allah or "superior force", or even Karma. Something does guide us all and it occasionally shows itself very discreetly. I tend to think the miracles mentioned in the Bible are exaggerations of smaller miracles of the type we see every day but which in our cynical minds we refuse to believe. On the other hand, as a rational person, I accept tha

It's the new thing. Every day on my Facebook news feed I see at least one title that sounds like this: "What he did was amazing, made me cry" "List of stuff this dude did, nr 7 will make you laugh like a madman" "List of 40 unimportant stuff, number 39 is amazing" There's more and more stuff like that and just by the title I tend to not click on them - despite the fact that the title promises me that by not clicking I would lose something sensational, amazing, hilarious and whatever you can think of. It's like tabloid journalism moved to Facebook and I am now forced to constantly look at those titles that would look very well in the sleaziest tabloid paper you can think of. The more something is forced on me (it's like shouting at me "click it! click it!") the more I reject it and the less inclined I am to do exactly what it asks me to do. In 90% of the cases, item number 39 is disappointingly unfunny, and it'

Watching Reign is a guilty pleasure for me but I never quite understood the point of making a movie or TV Show about Mary, Queen of Scots , if you're not going to use Mary's life as an inspiration (insert any other movie/TV Show or historical character). If you want to invent a new story and not be bounded by what happened in real life, just change the names. You can mention "inspired by real events" at the start if you want to make it a little more interesting. But if you're going to use Mary, Queen of Scots as an inspiration, actually use what happened in her life. The fun part is filling in the gaps. Because there are gaps. But Mary's story is so interesting by itself that you don't even need to invent much to make an exciting movie or TV show about her. Here's the summary if you don't feel like clicking on the Wikipedia link above: 1. Grew up in France, married Francis II of France at a very early age. He died approximately a year after

I don't mean to sound like a schoolteacher scolding her students, but sometimes it feels like people don't think through things when they are telling a lie. I am not necessarily talking about the polite lies you tell someone, because you don't want to admit that their food sucked. Although you might also re-think that strategy. My grandmother lives with the opinion that I simply love her cherry soup (don't ask) because I never had it in my heart to tell her that it makes me sick. As a consequence, she makes a point out of cooking cherry soup whenever I go to visit. And while I no longer offer rave reviews, I still didn't gather up my courage to tell her that I find that soup absolutely disgusting. The above is an innocent example of what happens when you lie. It's actually the best possible outcome of lie: people actually believe you. But even then the consequences might not be good for you - because people will act like you are telling the truth and keep on

I find that to be one of the saddest aspects of the human condition. Everything we can't have suddenly becomes more desirable. People we can't have are suddenly attractive. People that come too easy and like you too much, become less attractive for that reason only, even if objectively speaking they have every quality you want in a person. People that don't give you the time of day and treat you like shit are desireable because somewhere in the back of our minds, that translates into a superior attitude that makes us believe that they are somehow better than us. And because we perceive them as 'quality', we want them. This leads to an endless cycle of pain. You want them because they don't want you and, by the same logic, the more you want them, the less attractive you are to them. You will not get them until you stop wanting them, and by that time that will not be a satisfaction  for you. I cannot offer a solution here. The heart wants what the he

This rarely happens nowadays, but it did now. I was watching this movie, called Don Jon and I got really mad. For those of you who haven't watched it, here's the short story: there's this dude, a pretty typical bachelor male, who watches a lot of porn. At some point he decides that he wants to try on something more and he starts trying at a relationship with a chick called Barbara. The chick is insanely hot and everyone agrees on that. But she annoys the shit out of me. And what annoys me most is that, although I am sure that the writers' intention was to make her as a bit of an overreaction, there are a lot of women that are exactly like that. Like what you ask? While Jon is actively trying to alter his lifestyle to fit her in (although he occasionally fails), Barbara only dictates. From the first second, she is not preoccupied with knowing him, but with turning him into the kind of man she wants. Now, from where I am standing, that's just useless. The smart

There's plenty of cases I know of, and I learn of more and more each day. Story 1:  Guy has long-term girlfriend. He loves her and doesn't intend to give her up. Yet, he meets a woman he finds attractive and cannot help himself from flirting with her. What can this lead to? In most of the cases, the guy will not tell his flirt that he has a girlfriend. She could actually start liking him, so when she finds out that he's not really meaning anything by it, she could get hurt. Even if he does tell his flirt he has a girlfriend, if the guy doesn't stop flirting, she could still get her hopes up. What if the girlfriend finds out? Even if she won't act like it, she'll most definitely be hurt and that will lead to less trust in the relationship and eventual problems. Is it really worth it? Story 2: Guy doesn't have girlfriend and does not intend to get one. He meets a woman he finds attractive. She obviously wants more, he's not interested

Have you noticed how you sometimes spend a lot of money on a holiday/ car/ party or something like that and at the end of the day you're just feeling like you didn't have even half as much fun as you expected?  Most of the times, the most fun times we remember are the times when we were students, we went on cheap trips, drank cheap beer and made little effort to plan how we were having fun. As adults, sometimes, we don't have the time to have fun when we'd like to. We plan in advance for months, pay lots of money and then at the end of the day when we get there, the fun is ruined by too much anticipation. The many songs and poems are right about this one: happiness is about the little things. It's about letting the child within you enjoy that great cup of coffee, the feeling of fresh air in the morning or the feeling of touching someone's hand. The happiest moments of our lives are free, spontaneous and unexpected. Although I do understand the

The Lady of the Rivers by Philippa Gregory My rating: 2 of 5 stars If you're keen on historical accuracy, this book will lead to a lot of teeth gritting. Ms Gregory is well-documented but biased and presents as facts a lot of things that are just rumours, at best. If you want to read this as a book, independent of the fact that it is inspired by real people, you will enjoy it. But if history and historical accuracy in books matters to you, you might want to skip this one. View all my reviews

The Romanians, 1774-1866 by Keith Hitchins My rating: 4 of 5 stars It's interesting to read a book about Romania written by an American. It's an outside perspective, different from what you see in the history manuals and it's different from the usual view. An American is usually unfamiliar with who is considered a hero in Romania, so everyone's actions are judged objectively, without that bias added to them. It's refreshing and sometimes disconcerting. It's a book that's well written and good to read. View all my reviews

Princesses: The Six Daughters of George III by Flora Fraser My rating: 4 of 5 stars Few people would think of doing a book on some characters so obscure as the six daughters of George III. It's bound to attract the attention of only history freaks (like me) so it's a risky move. But it is so well done and so well written that I cannot help but recommend it to anyone. You don't need history knowledge to understand this book, Ms Fraser does a great job at explaining the context and all that is needed. This is not a happy story, but it is a true story, it is a story we can all learn from. I would recommend it as a life story. View all my reviews

It's that time of the year when we make decisions like "starting next year, I'll smile more and listen more and practice my singing" or something like that. New Year's Eve comes and then it goes and then suddenly we're back in the normal life and we forget until New Year's Eve comes again. Do we really have the potential to suddenly change our lives and make monumental decisions about it? I am not saying that life cannot change. I am sure that whoever takes the time to look back ten years will realize that life did change. But it changed slowly, without you realizing it, with small decisions and small steps that added up and led you into a direction. There are things you do suddenly: people stop smoking, they break up... sometimes they are forced by events to change. People die and that changes your life. You meet someone that suddenly takes up a lot of your time. But most of the times, the inner you stays the same, it just reacts to different circ